I embarrass myself regularly.
Me: That hourglass lasts longer than a minute.
Andraé: It’s about 27 minutes.
Me: Oh, so it’s not a minute hourglass?
Andraé: No, I think it’s supposed to be a 30 minute.
Me: ….Were original hourglasses supposed to be an hour long?
Me: So it’s called an ‘hourglass’ because it measures an hour??????
Me: I thought it was called an hourglass because its shaped like an hourglass.
Andraé: [Gives me a hug.]
Me: I’ll go grab the pestle.
Timothy (my lab partner): Ok.
Me: Wait, which part is the pestle and which part is the mortar?
Me: OMG, I’m going to be a pharmacist and I don’t even know the difference?
Me: This is like my heritage. I’m such a failure.
Me: Which one do you think is which?
Timothy: I think this [handheld piece] is the mortar.
Me: Great. I was going to say pestle.
Note: The handheld piece is in fact the pestle, while the bowl is the mortar.
Me: I can’t believe the consignment shop wouldn’t take my dress, I mean, it has real fur!
Mom: Didn’t you say that proceeds from the shop support the animal shelter?