This kid is hilarious.
Next time you find yourself with a stuffy nose, headache and an upset stomach……just go to bed.
Just go to bed!
Because you might just find yourself doing something like this:
A. You may get the bright idea that exercise will help you feel better.
B. So you may throw on some clothes, tennis shoes, and cool shades.
C. It’s 90º outside, but who cares?
D. You might not remember to drink or take any water.
E. In fact, you might not have even had breakfast or lunch.
F. Did I mention that you might go out during the hottest part of the day.
G. You may bike a mile and feel a little better, and decide to bike another 1.5 miles.
H. At 2.5 miles away from home, you could decide that you’re bored with the trail and want to
take an alternate path home. Up the highest elevation within city limits.
I. Oh wait, where did the trees go? It’s hot. I’m thirsty.
J. At hill no. 1 you realize what a bad, bad idea this was.
K. At hill no. 2 you remember that this is the farthest you’ve biked this year so far.
L. Halfway through hill no. 2 you start thinking about the corndog you ate yesterday.
M. At the top of hill no. 2 you do something akin to “spitting-up” in front of one of the
most prestigious homes in the city. Because you are in the millionaires neighborhood. On one of the most coveted streets. Collapsed in someone’s grass.
N. At the top of hill no. 3 you start talking to yourself. Asking why, why, why.
O. And you come this [………] close to calling your husband at work because you can’t feel your face anymore.
And you can’t really see anything beyond the bright flashing lights. And even your teeth feel like they are sucking too much oxygen.
P. Oh yeah, I had a stuffy nose. That means respiratory problems. Great idea Jessi.
Q. And then you remember, Gahh…this would be a freakin’ hard ride for someone who is both fit and healthy. I am both unfit and unhealthy.
R. And finally, home comes within view.
S. And you lay on the floor panting for 15 minutes.
T. And then blog about it. Whilst sucking the life out of a Gatorade.
So just go to bed. All right?
Go to bed.
I adore my little brother, he’s the male counterpart of…well…ME.
We get along famously.
Chellie, she’s in a league of her own. Cutest kid sister ever, and possibly the quickest witted between the three of us. Her sarcasm is breathtaking.
Nate: Hey Beautiful.
Me: Hi Handsome.
Nate: I want a place like this one day. (Speaking of Biltmore Estate.)
Me: That’d be cool.
Nate: I’d call it… Nate’s.
Me: Awesome. You could give your guests flip flops that leave the impression of your name in the ground.
Dad: Let’s find a restroom.
Rachael: Are you tired? (total deadpan.)
Me: ….Nice Chel.
Me: I want a drug store with a old-time soda shop in it.
Nate: Can I finance it?
Me: I wouldn’t make any profit if you financed it.
Nate: I’d let you have all the profit.
Me: Then you wouldn’t make any money.
Nate: I don’t care, I just want you to call it… Nate’s.
Rachael: Oh no.
Rachael: You have a nose.
Me: You’re kidding, right?
Me: Nate, do you see those mountains over there?
Me: Did you know that those are actually dead dinosaurs, and their skeletons were eventually
covered over with dirt and then trees grew on them?
Me: Yup, it’s amazing.
TWO WEEKS LATER:
Nate: You lied to me didn’t you.
Me: No. They really are dinosaurs.
Me: Rachael, see those mountains over there?
Me: Those are actually piles of dead horses. There was a cataclysmic event and all the horses in the world died and were piled up over there.
Rachael: No they weren’t.
Me: Yes they are, ask Nate.
Nate: She’s right. All the horses are dead.
Rachael: What about that horse over there?
Nate: That’s not a horse.
Me: That’s a giraffe.
Rachael: You guys are crazy.
Mom: That’s not a horse, Chellie. I’m sorry.
Rachael: (Rolls eyes.)
“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” - Will Rogers
There is no end to the amusement I get from Will Rogers. He is my real life hero.
The past 6 weeks have been a blur.
I had finals, and then the next 3 weeks were spent fluttering around, seeing family and friends after my spring hibernation (school), and finishing up any last minute planning for our trip to Europe.
The last three weeks were spent road tripping mostly through France and Germany, with some time spent in Belgium, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Italy, Austria and Liechtenstein.
Our trip was wonderful, and while I’m sad that it’s over so quickly, I am looking forward to a very quiet summer at home.
I have several projects that I want to work on, including one that may help me scratch my travel-itch when I can’t actually travel myself. I also need to devote some major time to studying for my entrance exams. That’s kind of a big deal.
I’ll post some pictures from our trip soon, but for now:
BMW Museum, Munich
Isn’t this the perfect small-town-Pharmacist’s car or what?